Reforming FamilyLife & Public Culture

In the Last Session we began to formulate our definition of what it means to be an authentic man. Adam and JESUS have affected the destiny of every man on the earth. Every man walks in the light or in the shadow of one of these two men. What we will continue to do today is press those 2 men together and look at their lives. We’ll look at who they were and who they weren’t. Then with that comparison come up with the definition of manhood that I promised you at the beginning of the Sessions.

The Four Differences Between Adam and Christ

You’ll recall that in the last Session we talked about the first defining difference between these two men.

A. The first Adam, fell into passivity and the second Adam rejected that passivity.

The first Adam was caught Off-side, standing there in a moment when he should have been active and vigorous. A real man doesn’t just hang around. While we’re in the workplace, we’re decisive - we’re clear – we’re aggressive – we’re competitive. Then we move into the more social and spiritual spheres of life, and so often we miss the mark.

It’s been true since Adam. We start unwrapping ourselves at home, with our wives, with our children – around spiritual things, things of the soul, and suddenly, just like Adam, we disappear. We’re there, but we’re not there. In that garden experience, what was so odd about that particular moment was as the man entertained this enemy, you would have expected him to be shielding his wife, standing in front of her, arguing with the serpent, or pleading with her to move away from this very dangerous situation. At the very least, running into that situation with a hoe, to cut off the serpent’s head, doing something that spoke of masculinity. But instead, what you find is the man passive, silent, uninvolved, removed, quiet – Adam smelled of everything that’s anti-masculine in that moment. He became the invisible man. Since Adam, every man has a tendency to move in that direction in the social and spiritual spheres of life - except the second Adam, Jesus.

Jesus was a man of initiative. We look at the life of Jesus and we see a man of purpose, standing up for what’s right in all kinds of life situations – even when it was difficult to do so. One of the chief characteristics of Jesus Christ is that everywhere He went, He was stirring the situation and giving life to it – because Jesus was a life-giver, while Adam – the first Adam, became the invisible man.

B. The first Adam disregarded his responsibilities; the second Adam accepted responsibility.

Writer Roy Smith makes this statement; “The ability to accept responsibility is always the measure of a man.”

We saw in the garden experience how the first man fell short in 3 specific responsibilities that he was given, whereas the second Adam, Jesus Christ, in His lifetime accepted the same responsibilities.

What were those 3 responsibilities?

a) A will to obey. Adam forsook the will of God in search of something better for himself and his wife. But the second Adam obeyed the will of God.

John 4:34, Jesus is speaking; My food is to do the will of Him who sent Me and to accomplish His work.

In Psalms 40:8, a Messianic psalm, it says: I delight to do Thy will, O, God.

In other words, ‘That’s what’s in my heart. I delight to do Thy will.’

At the critical moment in Jesus’ life, when He was in the Garden of Gethsemane where manhood was in the supreme test (at least for Him), whether He was going to accomplish the will of God, which at this point was unbelievably hard – because it meant His death. Matthew 26:39 makes this statement: He went a little beyond them and He fell on His face and He prayed (and here we hear the essence of manhood) ‘My Father, if it’s possible, let this cup pass from Me; (and yet in that most difficult moment, He utters) ‘Yet not as I will, but Thy will be done.

And what we’re hearing, guys, is manhood, because manhood accepts the responsibility to obey the will greater than himself.

b) Jesus accepted a work to do. The first man fell in this regard, but the second man said, ‘I’ll accept the work that You give Me to do. I understand that I’m a man under authority.’ So in John 17:4, Jesus says this: I have glorified Thee on the earth, having accomplished (that’s the key word; because He was at the point of finishing His life) …having accomplished the work which You have given Me to do.

c) Jesus Himself – just like Adam – had a woman to love. You are probably saying, ‘I didn’t think Jesus was married.’ Oh, yes He was. He had a woman to love. It was His church. That’s why in Ephesians 5:25 it says this: Husbands, love your wives just as Christ also loved (His “woman”) the church.

And here’s how He loved His “woman” - He gave His life for her. He was a life-giver everywhere He went. So while Adam forsook a will to obey, a work to do, and a woman to love – Jesus Christ exemplified obedience by accepting the responsibilities in each of those areas to the fullest.

Men, as you look at those concepts, here’s what a real man is going to be like: rather than not thinking about these responsibilities, or just periodically drifting through them - at the core of a masculine life, is a man who understands that there is a will higher than his will. A real man wants to know what that will is, so that he can fit into it. He also knows that there’s a work for him to do. There’s a purpose for him on this planet, and so he aggressively seeks that work for himself. It’s not just his vocation, it’s an overall lifestyle. It’s a cause – if you will and he will not rest as a man until he finds his cause. Then when a woman comes into his life – and for you younger guys, it might just be a girlfriend orbiting around you – or it might be a wife of 40 years. But whether it’s the beginning of fledgling love, or love in the fullest season of life, he understands his role, his responsibility and he accepts it joyfully. Though sometimes it’s as difficult as being in the garden and saying ‘not my will, but Thine be done.’ He understands that he is called to love and care for this woman - not use her, not abuse her - not take advantage of her; but to love her with his life. He gives himself willingly to that responsibility. And in the essence of doing that, he moves towards the light of the second Adam, Jesus Christ. That’s what gives his life meaning and a sense of satisfaction – even when it’s hard to do it.

Like John F. Kennedy said years ago, “We choose to go to the moon, not because it’s easy, but because it’s hard.” And you know what? We choose to be the second Adam – not because it’s easy – but because it’s hard. Another word for hard is “noble.” It’s honorable, it’s righteous – that’s why we choose to accept responsibility.

What causes a man to accept social and spiritual responsibility?

Can I give you four statements that are missing today? Here’s how a young man - or any man – accepts social and spiritual responsibility.

1) When it’s clear from a young age that the primary responsibility for the social and spiritual well-being of others – whether it’s a young woman, or a wife, or children – rest on him. Here’s this young guy growing up in the inner city or the suburbs or the country – and who comes along in his life to tell him what I just told you? “Son, you have a will to obey; and you have a work to do; and one day, son, you’re going to have a woman to love and care for, and it’s your responsibility. Let’s talk about it.”

When that is missing in a young man’s life, he grows up in a giant vacuum. He listens to the siren songs of the world, and he begins to think, “No, my thing is to just kind of hang out, enjoy, and do what I want. And when I hook up with a woman, often, she’s supposed to take care of me, rather than me being the life-giver. I’m the one that grabs this umbilical cord from my family that’s been sucking life out of my family, and now I plug it into her to suck the life out of her—because people are here to give ME life! Nobody ever told me it’s supposed to be the other way around.”

A young man needs to feel the flat blade of that scepter on his shoulders, knighting him and saying, “Son, when you grow up, your role as a man is to care for others, and to give life to others. You have a will to obey an authority greater than yourself, there’s an eternal adventure that you’re on. Don’t take it lightly, but enjoy it, because there’s glory ahead, if you’re willing to accept it.” A man needs to be taught that at a young age.

2) When he’s been trained from an early age by the men in his life to recognize and assume these responsibilities. He can’t just be told – he has to be trained.

3) When he is honored – especially by other men – for accepting these responsibilities. It’s good for an older man to grab a younger man he’s been watching who’s out working with his kids, playing out in the front yard, just come up and go – put his hand on his shoulder and say, ‘You know, I’ve been watching the way you work with your boys there. You’re doing good.’ Men need encouragement in these areas to assume these responsibilities and realize they’re not just onerous burdens; they’re part of what it means to be a man. And cheering for one another encourages each of us to stay in the fight.

4) When he has been spiritually transformed in the heart by Jesus Christ to desire these responsibilities in order to honor God. You can’t just be told to do it, trained to do it and cheered for: There has to come a moment for most men where they’re spiritually transformed in the heart, by Jesus Christ to desire these responsibilities, because you know in the end they honor God. Really, these responsibilities are from God Himself.

The first Adam caved into passivity; the second Adam rejected passivity. The first Adam abandoned his post and decided ‘no I’m not going to take responsibility.’ He disregarded his responsibilities. The second Adam accepted responsibility.

C. The first Adam abandoned his post of leadership. The second Adam chose to lead courageously.

1. Men were created to lead, but it takes courage.

2. Jesus led where Adam didn’t. In fact, Jesus led in 3 specific areas:

Jesus set direction all through His life. One of the clarion calls of Jesus was “Follow Me.” We think of that as the Lord of life leading His disciples but, it’s also the call of a man. A man needs to have enough confidence -- enough substance – enough weight in his life that when he’s around others, he can say, ‘Follow me.’ Especially in the home. But to do that, there has to be some weight there – some substance.

He also provided protection to those around Him. He said, “I am the good shepherd and I lay down My life for My sheep.”

He also made provision. He says, “I have come that you might have life, and have it abundantly.”

Do you see those three things? Did you know you can go to Ephesians 5 where it talks about a man’s relationship with his wife and you would see those same 3 things? Ephesians 5 says that the man is the head of the wife. That means he has to have enough noble substance that he can look at his wife in difficult moments or the good times and say, ‘follow me.’ That’s what we need to be doing; this is where we need to be going. This is the course we men need to be setting.

He also provided protection. The Scripture says in Ephesians 5 that a man should protect his wife in such a way that her life should have no spot or wrinkle or stain or anything. She should be blameless because of his protection. That is so different to what we saw in the Garden of Eden, isn’t it? What Adam did there to his wife was allow her to be stained because he didn’t give her protection. But the man is supposed to create a protective shield around his woman.

Finally, Ephesians tells us that you’re to make provision for your wife. It says there in Ephesians 5 that a husband – a good husband – nourishes and cherishes his wife. Have you personally come to a moment in your life and said, ‘I accept those responsibilities’? When we have a wedding, the Man is asked, ‘Will you nourish and cherish your wife?’ At that point, he’s standing there with all the emotion of the ceremony, going “uh-huh”, but he doesn’t know what he’s saying ‘uh-huh’ to.

For some guys (unfortunately maybe many guys today) that’s the only time they’re charged with those responsibilities in their whole life. The only time they ever hear that they’re supposed to lead and cherish and love and protect their wife is at their wedding ceremony. They didn’t hear it growing up – and they’ll never hear it again. This is just a moment in time they’re passing through.

But I want to ask you: Are you willing to accept those responsibilities? Today, there’s a whole generation of guys who just don’t get it – because nobody ever gave it to them. So they never received it. And not only did they not receive it, but they certainly didn’t receive it as a noble cause, as part of their masculine destiny! But a real man accepts responsibility. A real man chooses to lead courageously in this regard. Men are created to lead.

3. To be a courageous leader, every man’s got to master to one obstacle in his life. If you’re going to be a leader, there’s an obstacle you’ve got to overcome. This is Enemy No. 1 of men. It’s your feelings.

Not too long ago a book came out called EQ. IQ is how we measure our intelligence, and oftentimes, it’s the measure of success in the academic community, or entrance into a college or university. But for EQ, a person’s emotional quotient, or emotional stability is the greater predictor of success. There are many, many smart people – much smarter than a lot of people that they work around - who are limited, not because of their intelligence, but because of their emotions. They’re emotionally unstable. And the greatest predictor of success in the workplace and in life is how you master your emotions.

Did you know it says the same thing in Proverbs 25:28? “Like a city that is broken into and without walls, so is a man who has no control over his spirit.”

A man who bows to his feelings can never be a real man. I’m not saying that you don’t feel. I’m not saying that real men need to suppress their feelings. Feelings are part of life. But greater than feelings is a sense of calling and my calling calls me above those things at times. In fact, at times I have to turn and put my face into the full gale force winds of feeling, and say ‘I’m not going to give in to you. I’m going to do what’s right.’

A man has to have that kind of control over his feelings if he’s going to be an authentic man. You know, Jesus Christ in one of His very first tests - as He was starting the mission He was called to do - the very first thing that God does to prepare Him for that mission is send Him out in the wilderness for 40 days, without food. During that time, He becomes intensely hungry and tired, so all of His feelings are calling Him to satisfy His basic desires. At that point, He’s tempted by satan. The enemy comes in at that point of weakened condition and he says, ‘hey! You can turn these stones into bread. Why don’t You do that?’ Now that sounds like a simple request, but after 40 days without food, it is so easy to go, ‘Yeah! I need to do that. I’m hungry. I deserve to eat. I’m starving!’ And yet, part of His mission was to wait on God. So Jesus said, “Man can’t live by bread alone. He lives by the will of God.”

Then the enemy tempts Him and says -- because Jesus knows that part of His mission is to accomplish this work to reclaim a lost world – and Satan says to Him, ‘I’ll give You the world! All you have to do is bow down and worship me. We can end this thing right now and you can be comforted, I can encourage you. You can satisfy all these desires that are not being met for you in this moment. You can have it all!”

Jesus shows His authentic manhood by standing in the face of satan’s temptation and telling him; “No, I’ll wait.” Your greatest enemy the rest of your life to accepting your responsibilities, to leading courageously, to rejecting passivity, to turning off the TV and to getting up and investing yourself in a direct way with your family, is going to be to say “no” to a feeling—“No” to a feeling.

Men have to live above feelings many, many times every day in order to be an authentic man. Ralph Waldo Emerson made this statement: “Nothing can bring a man peace but the triumph of principles.” And I want you to know nothing can bring a man the deepest satisfactions of his masculinity more than the triumph of truth in his life. Doing something to satisfy a feeling certainly will not do it. It’s kind of like candy – it tastes good for a moment, but in a just a short period of time it leaves you empty and starved – not truly satisfied. All this is a part of manhood. The first Adam abandoned his post of leadership; the second Adam chose to lead courageously.

D. The first Adam sought a greater reward, the second Adam expected a greater reward, God’s reward. There’s a difference between those two. Remember the first Adam was not satisfied with the life God was promising him. Unfortunately, he thought, that he was going to beat God’s best for him. Comrades, you will never, ever beat what God already wants to give you. He’s got it all.

All He wants you to do is follow Him to get it. But this first Adam thought, ‘no, I can beat that. There’s something better than that.’ What he discovered is what every man since him has discovered, as we try to gain something better than what God already wants to give us, we always fall short. That’s what it says in Proverbs 24:20: “For there will be no future for the evil man.”

We may try to get it, but we won’t like it when we get it because it’s not going to be as good as what God already had for us. That’s what he discovered.

The second Adam, on the other hand, knew if He stayed the course, He would get God’s best. In fact, there are a number of examples of “Second Adam Living”, beginning with Jesus Himself. All the Scriptures keep telling us, keep encouraging us; giving us examples of men who believed God over a period of time and got the best in life.

1. Examples of second Adam living:

a) JESUS. Jesus being our primary example—that’s how they stayed the course—. Here’s what it says in Hebrews 12:1-2. Just look at the verse. “Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of the faith who, for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” (that is, in glory)

How did Jesus endure the cross? How did Jesus despise the shame? How did Jesus make it through one of the most difficult times any man could ever enter into? How? It tells us in the verse; because in the midst of that agony and seeming defeat, Jesus expected a greater reward. See the phrase? “Because of the joy set before Him.” He looked through the difficulty of the moment and expected on the other side ‘this is going to lead to something noble and honorable and glorious.’ That’s how he stayed the course.

You may say, ’well, that’s Jesus.’ This is not just for the Son of Man. No, there are other guys here in Scripture that we can look at.

b) David. Here’s what David said. Psalm 27:13 “I would have despaired (this is the king)…I would have despaired of life had I not believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in this life (the land of the living).”

In other words, what David is saying is “Hey! I want you to all know (through this psalm) I didn’t follow after God for nothing. I knew there was gain in this, so in the midst of hard times – rather than go into despair – I knew there would be something good before me in the land of the living, and that’s what I kept my eyes on.”

c) Moses. Look what it says of Moses in Hebrews 11:24-26. It says this: “By faith Moses, when he was grown up, refused to be called the son of Pharoah’s daughter, choosing rather to endure ill treatment with the people of God than to enjoy the passing pleasures of sin.” And you go, ‘how could he do that?’ Here’s how he did it: “Because he considered the reproach of Christ greater riches than the treasures of Egypt for he was looking to the reward.”

As grand as Egypt was in that moment, he didn’t cave into the feelings of seduction that constantly implored him to give in. No, he looked beyond that to a greater reward, and he lived his life in light of that.

d) Paul. in 2 Timothy 4:7-8, Paul says this about himself. “I have fought the good fight; I have finished the course; I have kept the faith, and in the future, there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day, and not only to one, but also to all who love His appearing.”

2. Exhortations to second Adam living:

I can stay the course; I can fight the good fight. Why - because I’m expecting the greater reward. All through the Scriptures there are examples like that and also exhortations to that same end.

For instance in 1 Timothy 4:8, it says this: “For bodily discipline is only of little profit, but godliness is profitable for all things, since it holds promise, not just for the present life, but also for the life to come.”

There’s reward in this. You’ve got to believe there’s reward in this. Hebrews 11:6 says: “And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for anyone who comes to God (who wants to be a real man) must believe that He is, but he also (it’s not just he has to believe in the existence of God, no, he’s also got to believe) that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him.” (who stay after)

You’ve got to expect a greater reward. There will be moments whether it’s working with your children or up holding your integrity in the workplace, spending time with a child or thinking creatively to encourage another man, those things of giving your life away like that have to have embedded within them – the expectation that in this is reward, and to believe God for it.

Right now, some of you are like in a rubble of Life. Your life has kind of caved in. A decision has to be made whether you are going to give in to this - give in to the feelings - play the victim - blame others - or just kind of wallow your way through the next few years and hope something good happens to you. Or even worse, decide you are going to seize evil and get your own reward. You’ve got that choice.

So is there reward out there? There’s not only reward – but there is also this great expectation that one day, after this life is over, there’ll be additional reward for having made decisions that you never saw and you never will see, but God saw. And He says, ‘I’ll never forget those. In fact, I’ll bring those up some day so you can hear them.’ All of that is reward.

That’s what Jesus promised when He walked the earth as the ultimate Man. He said to humanity “I’ve come that you might have life and have it abundantly”. That’s the call - the call to real manhood. Let’s sum up all of that and let’s ask the question; ‘So what is a real man cut from the Biblical mold’?

What Is a Real Man from a Biblical Mold?

Finally we’re at the point of me delivering the promise I made to you: What is a real man? you want a succinct definition that you can carry with you.

A real man is one who:

1. Rejects passivity. He stops ‘just standing there.’

2. Accepts responsibility for God’s will; for God’s work; for God’s woman.

3. Leads courageously; he becomes a life-giver because he chooses to be and he asks God to help him to be and ultimately, he becomes that to others around him. The whole time he’s doing these things,

4. Expects the greater reward, God’s reward.

Comrades, that’s the way it ought to be.