Male domination is a personal moral failure – not a teaching of the Bible.
We are going to talk about leadership, but there’s a great difference between leadership and male domination. Male domination is not the leadership of the Bible, that’s a personal moral failure. Dominant men are men who dominate women are in reality – boys trying to act like real men. That’s not what we’re addressing here when we say the word ‘leadership.’ Not dominance – leadership. There’s a great difference between the two.
Genesis does tell us that man, as he was originally created, was laced up with leadership. It was a noble leadership, it was a leadership that was honorable and it was a leadership, at least, as far as a woman was concerned, that was gratifying – not terrifying.
What Genesis 2 Says About Manhood (Continued from Last Session)
We have already seen a few glimpses into man. First of all, we saw that Adam was created first and that that wasn’t an accident. It wasn’t because God made a mistake and so the second time He created a woman – just to do a little better job. No, Adam was created first on purpose. It was to make a statement, both to him and to the woman who would come after him. We also saw that it was to Adam that God spoke to first. Through Adam those commands were to be relayed to his wife, as he helped lead her and foster a direction for both of them in this new experience they were to have together on planet earth.
When she came into existence, she was called ‘helper.’ The word ‘helper’ was not a put- down kind of term. ‘helper’ is only used 3 other times in the Scripture. Each time it is referring to three very distinguished persons - God the Father; God the Son and God the Holy Spirit – and woman. Those are man’s helpers. So it’s a pretty lofty and exalted title. She was given that title to help position her in relationship to the calling that a man had over his life. She was there to complement that calling and in that, find a calling of her own, rather than compete with his calling.
In addition to those observations, let me make two other observations out of the book of Genesis in chapter 2.
1. Notice… Adam names his helper.
Genesis 2:23 says “And the man said (the woman has been created), ‘this is now bone of my bone, and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called ‘woman’ because she was taken out of man.’”
She comes into existence and as he looks at her, he names her. Earlier he named the animals, and now he names her. He’s called ish - ‘man’, so he names her ishah - woman. God allows him to do that and that’s the point. God stands back and says, ‘you take the initiative and you name the woman.’ And he does.
In doing that, It says something about their relationship, in particular about his leadership in the relationship. If you took that primal moment and raced down thousands of years to 2026, where we are today -- the 21st Century -- you would find that, in our own way, we follow this same pattern – at least in most marriages. It is always why The Pastor says "It is my pleasure to introduce to you; Mr. & Mrs. Wesigye" And he’s named her. In this ceremony, the man named her.
Why do we give the couple his name? Now to most of us, that’s just a mindless custom, but no – no –no. All customs have deep social significance. In that moment, we are whispering in that pronouncement something about how they will dance the rest of their life. Who will initiate? Who will protect and who will provide, and who will lead? And who will help through all that? We’re saying that very thing at that moment. It is putting on the man’s shoulders, the responsibility of a new and noble leadership in this new social organization called the family.
That’s also why, in the social revolution that we’ve experienced over the years, that in many ceremonies today, the woman chooses to keep her own name. That makes a social statement as well. What they’re saying to the world is ‘in our relationship, we’re not going to have that kind of social organization. No one’s going to lead anyone in this relationship. We’re the same.’
But in this particular situation – in the original draft, so to speak – as we watch it, what we see is Adam naming the woman in order to set about a social relationship that they will play out in their lives.
2. Notice… It is the man who is told to leave and initiate a new household.
Genesis 2:24 “For this cause, a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall cleave to his wife and they shall become one flesh.”
To leave is to lead. The man is taking the initiative to make a break from his own family and to make something new happen in that initiative. He’s leaving and taking the leadership to make a new family. It’s important that we notice this because it’s the man who is leaving – not the woman. He’s taking the initiative to bring this new home about – not her.
We can fast-forward through the ages and come to our present day, we see that same thing being played out all across our world. We see the woman wait for the man to initiate a new relationship. What does every woman wait for? She waits for the man to come to her and create some special moment. Then he gets down on his knees and says these words; “Will you marry me?” This cord goes all the way back to Genesis 2:24. He’s initiating! He’s saying, ‘I want to start something with you. I’m taking the leadership of this. Will you do this with me?’ And when she says, ‘Sure, I’ll dance,’ then he takes the lead and off they go.
What Genesis 3 Says About Manhood
In Chapter 3 we go into a real tight focus on a singular event that twists all that we just talked about, and perverts it and distorts it, and impacts masculinity.
1. Notice… The temptation seeks to corrupt and reverse God’s original social and spiritual order.
Gen 3:1-6 “Now the serpent was more crafty than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made, and he said to the woman, ‘Indeed, has God said you shall not eat from any tree of the garden?’ (Of course, that’s not what He said.) And the woman said (rightly) to the serpent, ‘From the fruit of the trees of the garden we may eat, but from the fruit of the tree which is in the middle of the garden, God has said ‘you shall not eat from it, or touch it, lest you die.’ And the serpent said to the woman, ‘You surely shall not die! For God knows that in the day you eat from it, your eyes will be opened and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.’ And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and it that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took it from its fruit and ate, and she gave also to her husband with her and he ate.”
Where is Adam in this? Why isn’t he standing between these two? Especially when they begin to debate about the tree, why doesn’t he come into that particular setting and emphatically tell the serpent, ‘no, we’re not going to do this.’? He doesn’t seem to have shown any initiative in this at all. He’s quiet. He’s there, but he’s quiet. It’s the woman who engages this serpent about whether this commandment is, in fact, a good one or not.
Then what you notice, as she engages this serpent, is she begins in a strange way to take the lead in the relationship. You’ll see that at the very end of the passage. The attack that unsettles her, is the same attack that is unsettling women even in our day. It’s all about the issue of equality. The dagger, the serpent sticks in her heart is this; ‘God’s holding back on you. He knows that if you eat this fruit, you’ll be equal with Him. It won’t be this ‘over-under’ kind of relationship anymore, with Him having it all and you being the inferior employee in this garden setting. No, you’ll be like Him. You’ll be equal. You’ll have the same power; you’ll have your own freedom. You can determine your own destiny if you’ll just eat.’
She listens - then she’s enticed - then she gets engaged - and then she eats. Now after she’s eaten, (at the end of the passage) she turns to her husband who is with her, and he follows her lead. He doesn’t lead anymore; he follows! He eats as well. And so in this whole relationship of who would lead and initiate and take charge, and be the one who directs in the instruction of God’s word, and lead his new home to high spiritual ground – instead, he’s totally passive; she leads and then he follows. That takes place again and again, in thousands of homes today, in thousands of relationships every day.
Here is a woman who’s confused, trying to make sense of it and a man who stands around doing nothing! Then after there is corruption, the man says, ‘okay, guess that’s the way you ought to do it.’ With that act of sin, manhood is obliterated in just a few moments.
2. Notice… God holds Adam, not the woman, accountable for this first sin.
Gen 3:8-9 “And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden (this is after the event) in the cool of the day, and the man and the wife hid themselves from the presence of God among the trees of the garden. (Of course, God knows exactly what had just happened) and then God called (And God called to who? The man.) And He said, ‘where are you?’
God is calling man to account for his transgression or sin. Not because the woman started it, but because Adam was charged with it. It was he who failed; not her. God’s clearly putting the finger on the CEO of this new family who as now failed miserably. It’s just like when a sports team fails, at the end of the season, who do you fire? The players? Well, you might fire a few of them; but primarily the one who gets the ax at the end of the season is who? The coach!
It would be easier for the coach to step back and say, ‘Wait a minute! Why are you firing me? It’s the players who are playing!’ Well sure it is, but it’s the coach who determines how they play and that’s exactly what’s occurring with the man. Oh, yes, Eve went off onto her own path, but the person who should have been in charge of all that, providing an environment of protection and safety and encouragement and understanding was negligent. So God calls him to account here.
For us guys who
are married, what is occurring here will even occur for us one day when we
stand before God. God will be asking
you, as the head of a social agency called the family – He’s going to say,
‘where were you?’ He’ll ask you that
question and He won’t blink. So it’s very important that we understand what’s taking place and the implications and
the ramifications for this social order. God
says, ‘I’m going to hold the man accountable.’
After working with families and marriages for years and years, I can tell you one thing that’s really clear; as a man goes; so goes his family. That’s a real clear statement. It’s so easy to see that. In our world today, and in our nation today, what we see with children and with the breakdown of the home – if you want to trace the root of that, it goes squarely to the foot of a man. Because as a man goes; so goes his family.
3. Notice… Adam’s sin has an unacceptable passivity attached to it.
Genesis 3:11-12 “And God says to the man, ‘Have you eaten from the tree I commanded you not to eat?’
Have you eaten from the tree – ‘And the man said, ‘the woman whom You gave me. (She’s the problem) She gave to me and I ate.’
Does that sound like a man to you?
You know what you can write over man’s statement? “Victim.” “I’m a victim.” And any man who
plays the victim card has torn up
the manhood card, because he doesn’t have the nerve to be a man. And Adam doesn’t have it here either.
They were in this garden; they were told not to eat this fruit. He saw his wife entertaining with the enemy to eat this fruit, and in the selfishness and self-centeredness of his own heart, he went kind of like this: He thought, ‘well, let her go ahead and eat it. And if she dies, God meant it, but I’m okay. And if God doesn’t have that power, then I’ll get what I want.’ She ate and she didn’t die, and he ate and then all of a sudden, hell was unleashed. And he realized he’d been fooled. If that’s what was really going on in his heart, then he sinned long before she ate the fruit, right?
4. Notice… Adam’s curse is based on the reversal of God’s original created order. (Eve’s curse is also based on her usurping God’s created order.)
Genesis 3:17; “Then God said (now Adam’s being cursed) ‘because you listened to the voice of your wife and have eaten from the tree of which I commanded you saying, ‘you shall not eat from it,’ cursed is the ground because of you. In toil you shall eat of it all the days of your life.’” (‘Life’s going to become hard for you, Adam, and you know why it’s going to become hard for you? Let me tell you what’s at the core of your sin: it’s the first line of what I just said to you.’)
What did God curse him for? Because he had eaten of the fruit? Was that the first thing He brought up? No. Look at it. He’s cursed because ‘you listened to the voice of your wife.’ Now, is that a put-down on a woman? No. It’s a put-down on the fact that she was leading and he was following. That’s the put-down. He knew the information! His manliness should have called him forth to be a directional leader; an overall protector and guide of the noblest of manhood. But instead, he totally disregarded that calling over his life and listened, rather than do what a real man does and that’s initiate truth!
So God says, ‘because you’ve done that, Adam, you’ve ceased to lead and you’ve betrayed the essence of masculinity, From that point on, because of what Adam had done, life forever changed for everyone, not just Adam!
5. Notice… Adam’s sin unleashed the destructive curse of male domination.
Gen. 3:16b “Woman, your desire shall be for your husband and he shall rule over you.”
You’re thinking ‘well, he’s supposed to rule.’ No, no, no. It’s saying even with all that a woman’s still going to desire a relationship with a man. But the man, now cursed, having forsaken the essence of his masculinity – rather than lead his wife, he will dominate her or dominate other women. The Hebrew word there doesn’t speak to a noble leadership. It speaks to a harsh, oppressive, dominating kind of leadership. A rule that women in every generation cry out against - a rule that women in every generation complain about - a rule that women in every generation are crushed under when their husbands come home. Men can only be liberated from that when they find a new kind of leadership in the face of Jesus Christ.
6. Notice… Adam dies. This judgment of death also extends to all those who come after him. He, not Eve, is charged with the fall of the human race. Our depraved natures are due to Adam’s sin.
Gen. 2:16-17 “And the Lord God commanded the man. He said, ‘you can eat of any tree in this garden, but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day you eat of it, you shall surely die.”
Now he ate of it and, if
you follow the text – of course, if you’re thinking of death just in
physical terms, he ate the fruit and he didn’t die. So either God was a
liar or we’ve got the definition of
death wrong. I think we’ve got the wrong definition of death. He ate and he died. What died the most in Adam was his masculinity. His true masculinity. He fell
from that noble perch that I call authentic manhood.
He had a twisted type of masculinity that struggles with purpose in life. It’s a lot like many men do today who struggle in their relationship with women, who struggle with life in general. That’s a type of death. And life becomes hard and the longer men, who were meant to be noble leaders, go through life without finally clearing all that mess up, life just simply becomes harder – even if they become more successful. Life just becomes harder because they can’t figure it out. They know deep down within there’s something better for them, but they don’t know what it is.
This judgment of death also extends to all those who come after Adam. Adam, not Eve, is charged with the fall of the human race. In fact, our depraved natures are due to Adam’s sin. Remember The heart wound came from Adam. Because the fall of the human race was charged to him, and to Adam death was imputed into his life, everything he gave life to after him also died. And the next generation was infected with his death, his flawed humanity, his flawed masculinity in the case of men was passed on, so that each of us are born with it.
In Adam all die. That’s also why Jesus Christ was born of a virgin, so that He wouldn’t be infected with Adam’s death. Romans 5:19 says: “Through Adam’s disobedience, everyone was made a sinner.”
7. Notice… Adam renames his wife as a continued sign of his leadership even after the fall.
Genesis 3:20 “Now the man called his wife’s name Eve because she was the mother of all the living.”
Up until this point, her name was not Eve – it was woman. But now, after all that’s taken place, he steps back - they’re going to go on with life - so he re-names his wife. He calls her “Eve” because she’s going to give life to the world which, is one of her great purposes in life. So he calls her “Eve.” But by re-naming his wife, it also reaffirms – even after the fall – that Adam is still called to lead, or the man is still called to lead. In other words, his sin didn’t rescind his leadership calling.
Even though we’re flawed; even though we have problems; even though we’re going to have to struggle with ourselves and all the things in our baggage, as men – if we’re going to find the essence of our masculinity – we’re still called to be leaders. Every man is called to be a leader.
We’re going to define more specifically what that leadership is all about as we go through the next few sessions. But until a man understands that calling and embraces that calling, and makes it his own, you know what he’s going to be? A boy. Remember when Paul said ‘when I was a child, I thought as a child; I reasoned as a child. But when I became a man, I gave up childish ways.’ We’re right there on the cusp of what that meant.
When I was a boy, I thought like a boy for myself. I didn’t embrace truth or have to, I didn’t feel responsible for anybody. And when I got around people, especially women, I used them. But when I became a man, I embraced the essence of masculinity – which is leadership. I saw myself as one responsible for; a provider of; a protector; a leader; a truth-giver; a life-giver.
👍🏽 Robert Lewis
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