A Model Marrieds’ Ministry | Our Ideation

As we celebrate 11 Years of Alex & Christine Wesigye, I would like to share some reflections, drawing from 9 years experience in family ministry, we would like to share our thoughts on what a model Marrieds’ Ministry would look like to us. 

The Arms of the Marrieds' Ministry:

1️⃣ Marriage Preparation Course for couples intending to get married.

2️⃣ Marital Mentorship for newlyweds & couples in distress

3️⃣ Marrieds’ Fellowships for marrieds' couples

The Marriage Preparation course is aimed at preparing intending Couples for their Marriage Journey.

Having gone through the Marriage Preparation sessions, the intending couples should be attached to Mentoring Couples to walk alongside them as they transition from pre-marrieds, marriage preparation into marriage.

The Marrieds’ fellowship is a forum for all married couples in the church.

The 3 arms above under the Marrieds’ Ministry calls for 3 categorical laborers, i.e Marriage Preparation Course Facilitators, Couple Marriage Mentors and Marrieds’ Fellowship Leaders.

And thus, for operational efficiency, you need to form a ministry structure with committee.

The Marrieds’ Ministry Structure

You need to designate laborers/Coordinators for each of the 3 arms i.e say

1️⃣ Coordinator – Marriage Preparation

2️⃣ Coordinator – Marriage Mentorship

3️⃣ Coordinator – Marrieds’ Fellowship

The above coordinators must be married as per the church Marriage Policy.

The 3 Leaders above may not report directly to the Senior Pastor, You may designate a Pastor responsible for Family Affairs in your Church/Ministry to whom they may report or designate someone say a General coordinator responsible for the entire Marrieds’ Ministry i.e General Coordinator-Marrieds’ Ministry and thus this coordinator (a couple) reports to the Family Pastor.

In summary:

✅Marrieds’ Ministry among other family-related ministries falls under the Pastor in Charge of Family.

✅The Family Pastor is supported by the General Coordinator- Marrieds’ Ministry (a couple).

✅The General Coordinator-Marrieds’ Ministry is supported by 3 coordinators responsible for Marriage Preparation, Marriage Mentorship and Marrieds’ Fellowship respectively.

The 3 coordinators are supported by other laborers, viz

✅Coordinator – Marriage Preparation is supported by Marriage Preparation or Premarital Counseling Course Facilitators

✅Coordinator – Marriage Mentorship is supported by marriage Mentor Couples

✅Coordinator – Marrieds’ Fellowship is supported by Marrieds’ Fellowship Leaders

These leaders consequentially constitute the Marrieds’ Committee.

The Marrieds’ Ministry Committee

The Core Marrieds’ Ministry Committee:

1️⃣ The Family Pastor

2️⃣ The General Coordinator - Marrieds’ Ministry

3️⃣ Coordinator - Marriage Preparation

4️⃣ Coordinator - Marriage Mentorship

5️⃣ Coordinator  - Marrieds’ Fellowship

The general Marrieds’ Committee:

1️⃣ The Core Committee Above

2️⃣ Premarital Counseling Facilitators

3️⃣ Couple Marriage Mentors

4️⃣ Marrieds’ Fellowship Leaders

The Marrieds' Ministry Structure

The Roles of the Marrieds’ Ministry Committee

1️⃣ The Family Pastor

✅Developing Marriage Policies

✅Develop Premarital Counseling Course Curriculum

✅Develop Couple Mentorship handbook

✅Develop a Marrieds’ Ministry Guidelines

✅Responsible for the Marrieds’ fellowships, Premarital Counseling Course, Marriage Mentorships, and Post-Marital Counseling for couples in distress

✅Encourages cohabiting couples to sanctify their marriage, e.g an Annual Mass Wedding Initiative.

✅Identifies and appoints a General Coordinator- Marrieds’ Ministry.

✅Calls for and chairs Marrieds’ Committee meetings

2️⃣ General Coordinator- Marrieds’ Ministry

✅Supports the Pastor responsible for Family Affairs overseeing Marrieds’ fellowships, Premarital Counseling Course and Marriage Mentorships

✅Identifies and appoints the 3 coordinators i.e for Marrieds’ fellowship, Premarital counseling Course and Mentorship. (with Family Pastor’s Approval)

✅Organize and coordinate Marriage Enrichment Events

✅As assigned by the Family Pastor

3️⃣ Coordinator-Marrieds’ Fellowships

✅Supports the Gen Coordinator Marrieds’ Ministry in overseeing Marrieds’ Fellowships

✅ Develop a reporting template for marrieds’ Fellowships Leaders

✅ Oversees & reports on marrieds’ fellowships activities

✅Identify and appoint Marrieds’ Fellowship Leaders

✅ Attaches newlyweds to marrieds’ fellowships in their proximity

✅Develop a Database of all Marrieds’ fellowships i.e leaders, schedules, frequency of meeting, Mailing List et.c

✅Disseminate Marrieds’ fellowship Topics to all marrieds’ fellowship Leaders

✅Prompt, Oversee the Opening, Closure of marrieds’ Fellowships

✅Ensure Marrieds’ Fellowships Leader Submit their Reports

4️⃣ Coordinator- Marriage Preparation

✅Supports the Gen Coordinator Marrieds’ Ministry in overseeing the Premarital Counseling Course

✅Develops Premarital Counseling Course Schedule

✅Identifies Facilitators and hosts for each session

✅Engages the Coordinator-Marriage Mentorship to assign mentors to the intending Couples

✅Engages the Coordinator-Marrieds’ Fellowship to attach the intending Couples to marrieds’ fellowships.

✅Develops a Reporting Template to be used by the facilitators

✅Avails Premarital Counseling Course Curriculum to the facilitators

5️⃣ Coordinator-Marriage Mentorship

✅Supports the Gen Coordinator Marrieds’ Ministry in overseeing Marriage Mentor Couples

✅ Identify, groom and enroll marriage mentor couples

✅Engages the Coordinator-Premarital Counseling to assign mentors to the intending Couples

✅Develops a Reporting Template for Marriage Mentor Couples

✅ Develops Annual work plans for the Marriage Mentorships activities

✅Organizes for Equipping Sessions for the mentor Couples

✅ Avails Mentorship materials/ guides to the Mentor Couples

✅ Engage mentors to establish mentorship progress of the couples

6️⃣ Marrieds’ Fellowship Leaders

✅ Coordinates, facilitates the Marrieds’ Fellowship

✅Oversees Fellowship activities

✅Identifies fellowship hosts

7️⃣ Premarital Counseling Course Facilitators

✅ Develops & manages a Database of Pre-marrieds

✅Host the Premarital counseling session. The Host ensures effective coordination/running of the Session such as Attendance lists, Refreshments, Seating arrangement, Power point presentations

✅Facilitates the premarital counseling session

8️⃣ Marriage Mentor Couples

✅Walks with the intending Couple in their marriage journey

✅Continues to walk with the Couple(s) even after their wedding as per mutually agreed schedule

✅Encourages the couple(s) to join the marrieds’ fellowships

Conclusion

A strong marrieds' ministry is essential for family strengthening & consequential national building. This model if operationalized can lead to healthy marriages, thus healthy families, then a healthy Nation.

#Alex&ChristineWesigye@11

#11thMarriageAnniversary

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The Wesigyes' 10th Marriage Anniversary Reflections

Alex, do you in the presence of God and before these witnesses, promise to love and to cherish, in sickness and in health, in prosperity and in adversity, this woman whose right hand you now hold?

Do you promise to be to her in all things a true and faithful husband, to cling unto her and to her alone as long as life shall last? Do you? (Alex, answers I do.)

Do you take her to be your wedded wife as long as you both shall live? (Alex answers, I do.)

Christine, do you in the presence of God and these witnesses, promise to love and cherish, in sickness and in health, in prosperity and in adversity, this man whose right hand you now hold?

Do you promise to be to him in all things a true and faithful wife, to cling unto him and him alone, as long as life shall last? Do you? (Christine, answers I do.) 

Do you take him to be your lawfully wedded husband as long as you both shall live? (Christine, answers, I do.)

Christine and i exchanged those vows on Friday, August 28, 2015 at Watoto Church Down Town. The LORD has blessed us with 5 Arrows, 4 Girls & 1 Boy.

As we celebrate a decade of Alex & Christine Wesigye, I would like to share some reflections of the 10 years of Marriage, the things that have contributed to the success of and sustained our marriage amidst the haggardness of life.

1️⃣Premarital Counseling. Our local church told us to first go through premarital counseling as one of the requirements to be wedded, which we did for about 14 Weeks, initially we did it just for formality purposes but we were eventually blown away by the sessions’ content, the principles which later on became pivotal for our marriage as long as we applied them.

We attended both Group counselling and One-On-One Sessions.

We also looked out for couples that we admired and visited their homes for counseling and guidance, and we're glad that they shared their hearts with us.

2️⃣Marrieds’ Cell. Towards the end of the premarital counseling sessions, we were attached to a marrieds' cell, and started attending before our wedding. We were thrilled by the stories those married couples shared and were encouraged that we would not be alone.

After our Wedding, it was easier for us to blend in the cell since we were already attending and this time we also had rings on our fingers. Actually the marrieds’ cell became our routine outing plot as a couple.

3️⃣ Marriage Mentor Couple. More so at the end of the premarital counseling sessions, we were attached to a Marriage Mentor Couple. Words can not express the impact the couple has on our marriage. We had a schedule to meet and be mentored by the Couple right from how to go about traditional marriage, Wedding, Parenting  upto Marriage & FamilyLife. May GOD Bless Victor & Mercy Lukwago.

The Marrieds’ Cell and the Mentor Couple became a Support (System) Community for our marriage.

In the marrieds’ cell couples freely share the challenges they are going through, how they were solving it or solved it and then you realize that you are not alone, or your issue is small, then stop whining but become courageous. The Marrieds’ Cell is a safe space for couples to freely share their vulnerability and also a place of prayer and encouragement.

4️⃣ Conflict Resolution Mechanism. Conflicts in marriage are normal and natural in the development of relationships. Conflict doesn’t destroy marriages, It is the inability to resolve a conflict that is so destructive.

As a couple, we apply the Principles of Matt 18:15-17.

When a matter arises, we talk about the issue just the two of us.

If the talk does not bear fruit, either of us is at liberty to involve a third party (not relative/friend to either of us but a neutral person). We agreed to make all referrals to our Mentor Couple. And it has worked for us. We have filed a number of cases against each other and issues resolved. And recently we added the Leaders of the Marrieds Ministry to our referral system. Christine is free to report me to them and so am I. And we are comfortable with that accountability mechanism. But as an appeal mechanism, should either of us feel unsatisfied with the process, we’re free to engage a spiritual dad or the family pastor. Christine and I can attest that this mechanism has proven effective with many fruits.

See a Proposed Church Marital Conflict Resolution Policy

5️⃣ Couple Altar.

It should not surprise you that many couples are still struggling to pray together.

I can not ever emphasize the importance of Couple Prayer time or the Marriage Altar. The Couple Altar is the Mother Altar of the Family. Whereas you may have a regular vibrant Family Altar, without a marriage Altar, there is no covering for the Family Altar. Remember the anointing flows from the top. The good thing with the Couple Altar is that you tackle real issues, which you wouldn’t raise on the Family Altar. So a Couple, we have our regular Marriage Altar, and the LORD has kept us knit together because we pray together.

Conclusion

Whereas there are a number of contributing factors e.g how we handle Sex, Finances, Phones, Friends and In-Laws, the 5 above are game changers for us as couple.

#Alex&ChristineWesigye@10

#10thMarriageAnniversary

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