Alex, do you in the presence of God and before these witnesses, promise to love and to cherish, in sickness and in health, in prosperity and in adversity, this woman whose right hand you now hold?
Do you promise to be to her in all things a true and faithful husband, to cling unto her and to her alone as long as life shall last? Do you? (Alex, answers I do.)
Do you take her to be your wedded wife as long as you both shall live? (Alex answers, I do.)
Christine, do you in the presence of God and these witnesses, promise to love and cherish, in sickness and in health, in prosperity and in adversity, this man whose right hand you now hold?
Do you promise to be to him in all things a true and faithful wife, to cling unto him and him alone, as long as life shall last? Do you? (Christine, answers I do.)
Do you take him to be your lawfully wedded husband as long as you both shall live? (Christine, answers, I do.)
Christine and i exchanged those vows on Friday, August 28, 2015 at Watoto Church Down Town. The LORD has blessed us with 5 Arrows, 4 Girls & 1 Boy.
As we celebrate a decade of Alex & Christine Wesigye, I would like to share some reflections of the 10 years of Marriage, the things that have contributed to the success of and sustained our marriage amidst the haggardness of life.
1️⃣Premarital Counseling. Our local church told us to first go through premarital counseling as one of the requirements to be wedded, which we did for about 14 Weeks, initially we did it just for formality purposes but we were eventually blown away by the sessions’ content, the principles which later on became pivotal for our marriage as long as we applied them.
We attended both Group counselling and One-On-One Sessions.
We also looked out for couples that we admired and visited their homes for counseling and guidance, and we're glad that they shared their hearts with us.
2️⃣Marrieds’ Cell. Towards the end of the premarital counseling sessions, we were attached to a marrieds' cell, and started attending before our wedding. We were thrilled by the stories those married couples shared and were encouraged that we would not be alone.
After our Wedding, it was easier for us to blend in the cell since we were already attending and this time we also had rings on our fingers. Actually the marrieds’ cell became our routine outing plot as a couple.
3️⃣ Marriage Mentor Couple. More so at the end of the premarital counseling sessions, we were attached to a Marriage Mentor Couple. Words can not express the impact the couple has on our marriage. We had a schedule to meet and be mentored by the Couple right from how to go about traditional marriage, Wedding, Parenting upto Marriage & FamilyLife. May GOD Bless Victor & Mercy Lukwago.
The Marrieds’ Cell and the Mentor Couple became a Support (System) Community for our marriage.
In the marrieds’ cell couples freely share the challenges they are going through, how they were solving it or solved it and then you realize that you are not alone, or your issue is small, then stop whining but become courageous. The Marrieds’ Cell is a safe space for couples to freely share their vulnerability and also a place of prayer and encouragement.
4️⃣ Conflict Resolution Mechanism. Conflicts in marriage are normal and natural in the development of relationships. Conflict doesn’t destroy marriages, It is the inability to resolve a conflict that is so destructive.
As a couple, we apply the Principles of Matt 18:15-17.
When a matter arises, we talk about the issue just the two of us.
If the talk does not bear fruit, either of us is at liberty to involve a third party (not relative/friend to either of us but a neutral person). We agreed to make all referrals to our Mentor Couple. And it has worked for us. We have filed a number of cases against each other and issues resolved. And recently we added the Leaders of the Marrieds Ministry to our referral system. Christine is free to report me to them and so am I. And we are comfortable with that accountability mechanism. But as an appeal mechanism, should either of us feel unsatisfied with the process, we’re free to engage a spiritual dad or the family pastor. Christine and I can attest that this mechanism has proven effective with many fruits.
See a Proposed Church Marital Conflict Resolution Policy
5️⃣ Couple Altar.
It should not surprise you that many couples are still struggling to pray together.
I can not ever emphasize the importance of Couple Prayer time or the Marriage Altar. The Couple Altar is the Mother Altar of the Family. Whereas you may have a regular vibrant Family Altar, without a marriage Altar, there is no covering for the Family Altar. Remember the anointing flows from the top. The good thing with the Couple Altar is that you tackle real issues, which you wouldn’t raise on the Family Altar. So a Couple, we have our regular Marriage Altar, and the LORD has kept us knit together because we pray together.
Conclusion
Whereas there are a number of contributing factors e.g how we handle Sex, Finances, Phones, Friends and In-Laws, the 5 above are game changers for us as couple.
#Alex&ChristineWesigye@10
#10thMarriageAnniversary
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